Before you browse the animals, check out the KEY:
Animals listed in black print are completely finished and will
go in the mail upon payment; animals in grey
print are only inked or partially colored, and will be mailed
within a week! :) Animals with a
strikethrough have been reserved
(either pending payment or not yet scanned/posted) and are currently unavailable
as originals, though you can order prints.
* Due to this animal's
temperament, there's no telling what trouble it's managed to get into.
It's best that it not be caught by anyone who's offended by senseless
violence, sensible violence, sexual innuendo, cute animal nudity, or bathroom
humor. I do promise that I would show any of these to my nephews, so they
might be sophomoric or gross, but they're still less frighening than the
Discovery channel or public high school.
animals have escaped!
The zoo had 150
animals, but they all escaped! They are running amok, and
that mischief isn't good for the animals or for us. They're
getting drunk, eating each other, and possibly (brace yourselves,
because this is terrible) attending law school. Obviously,
they belong back in the zoo!
Browse the zoo below to see what animals still need to be
captured. Some of the animals have already suffered fates
from terrific to terrible, as you will no doubt find out!
Alas, no one will know what they look like (or what shape
they're in) until they are caught.
feel compelled to mention that this is a special zoo.
Don't be surprised if you've never before encountered some
of these rare specimens...
seeing the specimen you were hoping for? Well...)
Each animal will
roam free until you, goodhearted Internet souls, fund their
capture by sending a minimum of $10 via PayPal or snailmailed
Most animals are
full-color, though there are some in limited palettes or b&w;
the art styles range from realistic to cartoony. Also, I heard
a rumor that if you have one featured on your wall, you will
have good dreams, grow three inches, and automatically be
moved to Santa's good list.
Once you've caught
an animal (you wily hunter, you!), the original 3"x5"
art card will be mailed to you, and a graphic representation
of the animal will go into the zoo so everyone can see! (If
you can see the animal off to the left, it means the original
is gone, but you can always order a print for $5! They are
the same size as the original. I print them with my laser
printer, which means they're on fairly thin paper, but the
image quality is superb.)
To claim an animal, please follow these instructions!
1. Send an e-mail
to p l u nd e r pu ss at g ma il dot c o m (without the
spaces) with this information: your name, postal address,
how you'll be paying, the name/description of the
animals you want, and whether or not you want to
be listed as a zoo patron at the bottom
of this page.
2. If you're paying by snailmail, I'll send you my postal
If you're paying with PayPal, here: Either way, payment must arrive within three days or your
3. Animals are first come, first serve. If you attempt
to fund the capture of an animal but someone else got
there five minutes before you, I'll notify you of your
misfortune. You can make second choices, or I will refund
any payment you've already sent.
4. Please feel free to use the .jpg files from this
directory in blog posts or other social networking
venues, as long as you link back to this page! Thank you
legal crap: You are purchasing the physical original or
a physical reproduction, not the rights to the image. I will
not refund animals under any circumstances, even if your fiancée
attempted suicide by jumping out the window and landed on
your grandmother, and they're both in traction, suffering
an eternal Jonas Brothers concert in a hospital run by Nazis,
which also happens to be on fire. In the event that I am late
mailing your animal(s), I grant you permission to pee in my
shoes for revenge. I guess this part wasn't as boring as I
thought it would be.
Hanzo. He's a happy, friendly one-year-old pit bull puppy
who likes to play with other dogs, hike on mountains, and
lick the faces of giggling children (and not-so-giggling,
actually-rather-horrified cats). Right now, he can't play
at all--he can barely walk--and the Zoo is here to pay for
what he needs.
developed a condition in his left knee called "luxating
patella," which he then promptly developed in his right
knee as well. He's in the animal hospital as I write this,
spending the night alone in a kennel instead of crushing my
feet with his giant fifty-pound dog butt. :(
puppy will be able to run and play again even if no
one buys my art--this site isn't one of those dumb threats,
like, "I will make this tame gila monster walk the plank
if you don't donate!" or something. It's just a way to
earn back what I've lost! Otherwise, I'll be eating rice,
rice, and when I feel like splurging (for the holidays, perhaps),
rice with soy sauce.
time Hanzo can jump again, I hope to be at Viable
Paradise XIV. (Which is what my savings was originally
supposed to pay for!) For those of you who don't know, VP
is a prestigious writing workshop where they carefully expose
you to radioactive waste in order to give you superpowers,
which you can then use to
further your career in fiction
fight crime. I'd hate to miss it, since becoming a writer
crime-fighting mutant is a dream of mine, just like Hanzo
would like to be a Canine Good Citizen and lick faces in hospitals
and nursing homes (where there are no pissed-off, soggy cats).
Hopefully my work as curator of the zoo will make it so we
can both achieve our dreams.
you for your contributions. We both appreciate it!
promises, but the zoo does like to add animals. If you
have a suggestion for something to brighten up the menagerie,
please let me know, and as curator of all our fine and exotic
exhibits, I'll look into it. If PlunderZOO does acquire the
animal you wanted to see, you'll be notified before anyone
else and given an opportunity to sponsor it. :)
Send your ideas to: plu n d e rp uss a t gma i l do t c o
are all the awesome people who have contributed so far. Thank
N. & family
David D. Levine
Curtis C. Chen
Mary Kay Kare