Skip to content

Tag Archives: trolling

thanks for the free envelopes, asshole

I don’t know why it’s even legal for a credit card company to send you a bunch of wasted dead-ass trees you didn’t ask for and definitely won’t use, especially when it’s a security risk for identity theft. I would be angrier if it wasn’t for this: I haven’t bought an envelope in over thirteen […]

prank war (spoiler: i lose)

The first thing you have to know is: my boss Alan is awesome. He’s kind, courteous, funny, helpful, generous, knows how to build things, knows how to art things, and his cooking is divine. He carefully marks the store prices so that we’re making enough to run the shop, but helping out the customer the […]

Twelfth dog, best dog

Because Hanzo is an enormous male pit bull, almost no one wants to pet him. But because he’s also a doofy, sweet, good-hearted kitten of a dog, it hurts his feelings when people avoid him. They walk across the street rather than pass him on the sidewalk, and he watches them with his ears up […]

Best bandage art ever.

PIE ATTACK

The pie started it. …SHUT UP, YOUR MOM’S A LIAR.

The Towel Game

Keffy and I are sharing a hotel room at Cascade Writers.    _ (…Calm down, it’s Mountain Dew. And I washed it out by hand so the staff wouldn’t have to wonder, either.)

Metal For Two Weeks

Two of my fingers are probably broken. I don’t know for sure because this third-world hellhole I live in doesn’t apply my taxes toward basic needs like GETTING MY BROKEN HAND X-RAYED but anyway, I know what you’re going to ask next. Go ahead, ask it. I’m going to lie, though. And also probably not […]

Big-Tittied Chainmail Lady (surprisingly, NSFW!)

For those of you who don’t know what the SFWA Bulletin is, it’s a newsletter for members of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America. We’ve had to work pretty hard over the years to have our work taken seriously, since many people are still dismissive of “spaceships and unicorns.” SFWA is a bit […]

You Look Like an Artist

If it doesn’t play, click here. For legal purposes, I insist this didn’t actually happen. All characters are entirely fictional and so are the things they say. And the fact that they’re furries, which definitely is not how it happened. I mean, didn’t happen.

How to Be a Famous Author

  Yes, ha ha, but also: It takes hard work to translate an ethereal dream from inside your head into a set of sharp-edged, black-and-white characters outside of your head. It’s even more difficult to array the spell in a way that will magically evoke the same original dream inside someone else’s head, merely by […]