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my face all biffed up and looking sheepish about how it got that way

Gravity is a harsh mistress.

I reserve the right to make up extravagant lies which are infinitely less embarrassing than what actually happened. These lies may or may not involved tentacles. And over-sized blades. Like this!

(If you can’t see it, it’s here.)

Oh no she di-in’t….

photo: my pit bull mix Briar covered in feathers

… I’m starting to see why Seamus refers to her as “emergency food.”

i <3 u

Remember, if you hate today, instead of being a whiny butthole, you should bring flowers to someone at a nursing home–just ask the staff who gets flowers the least–or send funny lolcat cards to everyone in a burn ward, or bring vegan cookies to the staff of the local humane society for all their hard work.

The holiday’s roots are twisted indeed, but it’s come to be an occasion for showing love, not getting love. So don’t be selfish. If Valentine’s Day sucks, it’s because you’re sulking instead of participating.

Go make someone feel like the world is a better place.

pit bull vs. box

photo: my pit bull Hanzo chewing a box photo: my pit bull Hanzo chewing a box photo: my pit bull Hanzo chewing a box photo: my pit bull Hanzo chewing a box

…And it ended with STORIES eyebrows

Tonight I gave a Copic marker demonstration to my friend Chrissy, who got several markers for Christmas. That was totally fun… we scribbled for hours. And ate cookies.

fabulous pencil portraits of Spencer Ellsworth and Cory Skerry

Her husband, who is my VPXIV classmate, fellow Pride of Liars member, and partner in crime Spencer, drew a portrait of me, and i in turn drew a portrait of him.*

Copic marker sketch of a cartoony dude's head

Playing with cool and warm colors as light and shadow, as well as checking out value and blending styles. blah blah blah scribbletalk blah

copic markers and watercolor - some weird spider lady

I miss my scanner. This looks so much better in real life.

Also, this week i have 1) interviewed for a part-time job i would looove and 2) submitted the first short story i’ve finished since last summer, currently entitled “Blue Kisses.” I’ve mostly been working on novels, but this was worth taking a break. It’s about a high schooler whose mom is a monster hunter, and when he sneaks out to do some monster hunting of his own, he finds the cemetery at night both scarier and sexier than he expected.

Yeah, i said the cemetery was sexy. Have you SEEN my trite black eyeliner? You should expect this out of me by now. Look:

photo: plunderpuss with "stories" written in where his eyebrow used to be

I was a goth in high school, and some things, like periodically shaving our stupid eyebrows, are sort of mandatory or we lose our club card.


* We used our left hands, but i thought it was funnier to leave that out, at least at first.

Bacon-flavored makeup

photo: my pit bull Briar licking my makeup off

If Briar, who eats garbage and dead things, thinks my makeup tastes good? MAYBE I SHOULD GET NEW MAKEUP. JUST SAYIN’.

Edit: Twitter and WordPress are arguing and i’m afraid they’ll get a divorce :O

photo diaries are better with vampires

photo of Maritime Heritage Park at dusk

I had this dream–WAIT DON’T LEAVE, I’M TALKING, DAMMIT–that there were lots of lions and tigers and jaguars in my house, and they were playing nice with my dogs, but i was afraid it–SERIOUSLY THERE IS A POINT, I’M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE THAT JUST TELLS YOU DREAMS FOR NO EFFING REASON–wouldn’t last, and so i was trying to find ways to segregate and rehome and otherwise care for these random big-ass cats, but all my friends kept coming over and asking me questions and wanting me to look at stuff.

That stress dream was sort of like my subconscious clearing its throat. I’ve been getting increasingly stressed out lately, and i’ve also been increasingly doing social activity instead of staying home 1) taking care of my dogs and 2) doing stuff that i need to do to feel like a whole and useful human bean.

So first, art:

watercolor + uniball + Niji water brush - two people faces

The way i sketched them, i guess they’re probably conjoined twins with a really cool split-patterned t-shirt.

watercolor graphic of some (ugly) dragony-celticky things

This is a test. This is only a test of the new watercolors that my co-worker Jess gave me <3. If this had been a real piece of art, it would have been better planned and better executed.

watercolor + Niji water brush - desert horizon

Thinking of one of my novels when i watercolored this… the one i feel guiltiest for not polishing.

abstract acrylic on canvas board

It’s a long story, but basically, i just wanted to play with those three colors of paint and outline them because of a mistake-turned-experiment at work.

And after a bunch of art, then i made food. Non-dairy food, because i’m a lactard and i shouldn’t be eating dairy–SERIOUSLY ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION, MY MEDICAL ISSUES ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS MY DREAMS–and i am weak waaay too often because goddamn do i love me some cheese. But this had no cheese, and it was still–HEY GET BACK HERE I’M ALMOST DONE–seriously delicious.

photo: the lentil concoction i ate for dinner

And that was January 26, 2014.

Oh, wait, WAIT! One thing from January 25 that is the same as January 26 is this, so i’ll show you it last:

photo: my sleepy cute pit bulls in matching poses

Good night!

Nobody was injured

my partner looking for the driver's glasses

Seamus helping the driver look for a pair of glasses lost on impact.


I was thinking of getting lawn flamingos, but then i thought, ‘Lawn Jeep Cherokee makes more of a statement.’

My doofy pit bull looking at the collision scene and fancying himself a watchdog.

Hanzo is really proud of himself for noticing the collision of an SUV and a CITY BUS. What an astute Barkmotron3000.

Every time this happens, though, i wish i could move. I walk my dogs along that sidewalk way too often to be comfortable with the number of collisions that occur in this intersections. I love this house, but living on an arterial is a little too exciting for me.

GO GO 2014!

.gif of me jumping up and down like a monkey on crack

Feather Monster

monster with a tail (Copic + Prismacolor markers, 2013)

Scribbled this at work. Click to see it at full size: