I think it would be in poor taste not to gloss over the details here. I may or may not be more forthcoming later. Basically, the landlord decided to sell this place three months after we moved in. This affects not just my partner and i and our pets, but also two dear friends + their pets who had been approved to take over the lease in the upstairs unit. We all have to find a new place to live ASAP, and our buttholes aren’t lined up with the stars or whatever, because the house-hunt isn’t going well.
There is a pretty intense likelihood that come April, i’ll be living in my car. I would never, and i cannot spell NEVER with enough capital letters to stress this, rehome my dogs or my elderly cats. Anyone who suggests i do so is no longer my friend, forever. You’ve been warned. One of the cats i’ve had for over half of my life. She would easily rather live with me in an Audi 4000 than go to a new home. My dogs and i love each other, not the house we’re in. I will find the magical fairy tale rental that 1) doesn’t say things like “Dogs under 25 lbs with prior approval” or “No more than two pets per unit” and 2) fits me, my pets, and my partner + his work equipment. (In our dream situation, so magic fairy tale + extra unicorns, we can find a house big enough for us AND our beloved friends, so that no one is left trying to pack their life into a storage unit and a car, and we all have live-in pet care, and table-topping buddies, and and and.)
But i have to be realistic: at this point in the year, before all the students leave in June, the available rentals are few and not well-suited to us. So i’m planning for it as if it’s inevitable. Using the word “homeless” about myself is surreal: I have fabulous credit and an excellent rental history both here and at my last place (where i rented for ten solid years). My dogs have obedience certificates, available references from their veterinarian and trainer, and all my pets have a clean history with my landlords.
I have a few potential leads, and if one of them pans out in time to keep me out of Chateau de My Car, the other sad reality for me is that i’m painfully short for moving costs (which may include buying a small supercheap fifth wheel or RV to make wheeled living more bearable) and possibly a deposit and a pet deposit. I don’t make much money and our savings were wiped out during the November move (in celebration, we had one $30 Christmas present between us).
Which brings me to the reason you’re reading about my misfortunes instead of me dealing with them privately as per usual. I have two artistic fundraising endeavors launching this week! Since i have the privilege of skills, i’ma use ’em.
First, No Keys is a weekly webcomic about bizarre house-hunting shenanigans with the aforementioned beloved friends. Here are our avatars:
That won’t launch until Wednesday. You’ll be able to fund this through my Patreon, but you don’t have to–you’ll also be able to tip me with PayPal directly, or if you’re as hard up as i am but you enjoy reading it, just pass the link around! (I’ve missed doing a webcomic, so this is actually a silver lining: my situation is pushing me into doing something that i’ve wanted to start for awhile. )
Monday, there will be S.E.E.D. I’ll leave you with an image–details tomorrow!