Take a look at our Christmas tree.
Every light is like an Alienware power button.
But wait… What is that up on top? Look closer:
You don't even want to know how much our tree-topper cost. Try... an arm and a leg! HA!
Yes, my friends, to the best of my knowledge, that is an actual preserved Pygocentrus nattereri, also known as the red-bellied piranha. Have an even closer look!
OM NOM NOM
When I was putting the ornaments on the tree, I dropped one. Seamus burst out laughing and turned to my cat Every, who was sharing the couch with him, and said, “Haha, you were totally right, man! Here.” Then he pulled five dollars out of his wallet and tucked it under Every’s paw, like this:
Joke's on Seamus. Every paid me to take a dive.
Also, in a less flesh-rending version of Christmas: while we were shopping for tree stuff, I found this strangely confused Santa Claus.
I always get it mixed up and think the elves live at the north pole and penguins live in the south. Silly me!
So, is there anything special about your holiday decorations? Perhaps one of your ornaments is an heirloom, or you cut your tree from a hanged man’s grave under a full moon and it comes alive at night and murders your neighbors. Please, do tell.
That is probably the best tree topper I have ever seen. Also Seamus taking bets with your cats amuses me to no end.
Once I wrote a 10-minute play about a totally normal guy who collected pine cones that talked to him. He would watch football with them and take them to the opera. It was based on my roommate’s dad. Perhaps I should do another one based on Seamus.
Your Christmas tree is going to eat Santa. Which means his entire bag will be left at your house. Moral dilemma: will you distribute everything to the rightful recipients or keep it all?
@rebecca
SELL IT ON E-BAY!
Merry Christmas to you guys!!! (Stud too, I found another $2 non-descript shirt for him)