This is my girlfriend Lula. She likes Utada Hikaru, long walks to the beach, and pop media that scares her pants off. She's the only person I know who has a crush on the villain in Silent Hill, but I hear it's popular among fangirls who make faces like this:

I know she looks twelve, but I swear she is a university student and she can legally drink.

This is my "housemate" Seamus, who likes fast cars, hot zombies, and practical jokes. His regular jokes are so awful that we practically beg him to set up elaborate ways of scaring the crap out of us. This is just after he took out his rockstar hair extensions:

That's not Photoshop, it's my life-size cardboard cutout of Steve Irwin

As you can see, I choose my mates based on their resemblance to upset clownfish.

Perhaps it surprised you that I had more than one relationship. If you're interested in how such a dynamic could work, I'd like to showcase a short article about polyamory by my friend Richard.